I think this way of raising kids is madness. Life consists of following rules, of one sort or another. Better get them used to it whilst they're young.
I watched the programme the other night I think it was called "feral families" or some such. There was much made of the children being happy and doing their own thing etc. and no mention of having respect for, or thinking of others and I wondered what sort of people they would become. My belief is that children appreciate boundaries and can be quite frightened without them. Gill
I did have certain rules. No anti-social behaviour, a story at bedtime, and we ALWAYS ate together around a table. Other than that they pretty well did what they wanted.
Children need rules and restrictions which help them learn to deal with every thing around them, rules and regulations are present in adult life, no one is ever free. You should always allow your children to be free as children to learn all the skills for later in their lives. To state as adults we have to make our own decisions and use that as the reason for allowing their children to live rule free. Children need the balance of home and school to bring out their personalities.
Rules are not punishments; they are guidance. Do things by the rules, and usually good things happen. Don't follow the rules and bad things are more likely to happen. Rules encourage successful lives!
I understand homeschooling and unschooling, but I also think children thrive best with a rhythm to their day. That doesn't mean that it is all planned or that they don't self guide large portions. Her older kids seem to be imparting their own rhythm by wanting to go to school. I also think this "no rules" thing isn't as absolute as they would like you to think. You don't get that many kids organized, dressed and out to the park without someone having to do something they don't want to do. There is give and take throughout life. In my house there are very few rules, but the ones that are there help everyone remain safe, open to learning and keep things running smoothly so we all (parents included) get the time to enjoy the things we love.
I did not see the program but we found our elder daughter thrived with strick rules but our younger daughter needed wider boundaries so used to turn and walk away when she was not behaving if I did not see I did not have to do anything, but there was no discussion on the big rules. Both daughters have grown up have degrees good jobs and also children of their own.
I suppose as a person who chose not to have kids that my opinion might not count, as it were, but kids don't seem to fare well without being given boundaries. As a child of divorce, I lived between houses. One parent had no rules, while the other was smothering. Neither parenting style worked for me, to be honest. A balance between the two stances should be struck.
I think this way of raising kids is madness. Life consists of following rules, of one sort or another. Better get them used to it whilst they're young.
ReplyDeleteGood point.
DeleteI watched the programme the other night I think it was called "feral families" or some such. There was much made of the children being happy and doing their own thing etc. and no mention of having respect for, or thinking of others and I wondered what sort of people they would become. My belief is that children appreciate boundaries and can be quite frightened without them.
ReplyDeleteGill
I don't see how that would be possible. We never whipped ours though, we did other things like time out, and they turned out ok.
ReplyDeleteI did have certain rules. No anti-social behaviour, a story at bedtime, and we ALWAYS ate together around a table. Other than that they pretty well did what they wanted.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't watch this programme. I have seen something similar in the past but I too think children need, and appreciate, boundaries.
ReplyDeleteChildren need rules and restrictions which help them learn to deal with every thing around them, rules and regulations are present in adult life, no one is ever free. You should always allow your children to be free as children to learn all the skills for later in their lives. To state as adults we have to make our own decisions and use that as the reason for allowing their children to live rule free. Children need the balance of home and school to bring out their personalities.
ReplyDeleteRules are not punishments; they are guidance. Do things by the rules, and usually good things happen. Don't follow the rules and bad things are more likely to happen. Rules encourage successful lives!
ReplyDeleteI understand homeschooling and unschooling, but I also think children thrive best with a rhythm to their day. That doesn't mean that it is all planned or that they don't self guide large portions. Her older kids seem to be imparting their own rhythm by wanting to go to school. I also think this "no rules" thing isn't as absolute as they would like you to think. You don't get that many kids organized, dressed and out to the park without someone having to do something they don't want to do. There is give and take throughout life. In my house there are very few rules, but the ones that are there help everyone remain safe, open to learning and keep things running smoothly so we all (parents included) get the time to enjoy the things we love.
ReplyDeleteI did not see the program but we found our elder daughter thrived with strick rules but our younger daughter needed wider boundaries so used to turn and walk away when she was not behaving if I did not see I did not have to do anything, but there was no discussion on the big rules. Both daughters have grown up have degrees good jobs and also children of their own.
ReplyDeleteI suppose as a person who chose not to have kids that my opinion might not count, as it were, but kids don't seem to fare well without being given boundaries. As a child of divorce, I lived between houses. One parent had no rules, while the other was smothering. Neither parenting style worked for me, to be honest. A balance between the two stances should be struck.
ReplyDelete