I am guilty of being a very goal oriented person.
I set myself a list of tasks that's far too long, never get them done and then feel guilty for not having done enough.
This is at it's worst when the kids have gone to bed. Earlier in the day I think of all the things I'm going to get done that evening. Then when it comes to it my wife and I come down stairs feeling like we've fought a battle just to get them in their pyjamas and clean their teeth.
We slump down in the sofa and look at each other, that's when my guilt starts. I feel I need to get myself up and moving, the temptation is to get my phone out and look at it like a zombie, learning nothing and doing nothing.
This is wasting time and it happens more than I'd care to admit.
One thing that isn't wasting time is to talk to my wife.
Frequently we have a few evening where we sit and talk to each other for hours, sometimes about important things, sometimes about nothing at all.
I think I sometimes underestimate how important this is.
Sometimes I'm in danger of thinking that this is wasting time, no goals have been achieved that night, nothing ticked off the list, but I think in the grand scheme of things it's possibly the most important thing we could be doing.
You see with three young children and my wife working full time, giving time to conversation between each other is often hard to come by.
One of the many reasons I fell in love with her in the first place is through my love of conversation with her (if that sounds weird I'm sorry). For years we had a long distance relationship where we'd speak to each other every other night on the phone for an hour. Being able to talk to someone who understands you, is willing to listen and has you're best interests at heart is key to a healthy relationship and when children come on the scene it's very easy to let that slip.
People often ask how I get so much done here, but without my wife none of this would happen.
Working on keeping your relationship strong is probably the most important job you could do on any homestead!
Very very true! We are now at home together every day and evening. We talk and smile at things together. We like to listen to comedy quiz shows whilst we both sew!
ReplyDeleteNeither of us share any hobbies so you've certainly got something there!
DeleteYou've hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteIt's the small things that are important
DeleteYou said some very beautiful things about your wife and your relationship with her. You have a lovely family! We should all be so lucky.
ReplyDeleteI just like to point out that none of this is on my one, although sometimes it can read like that.
DeleteOh that is a lovely post, really. My husband and I had a long distance relationship for the four months that we first knew each other, I would write a letter to him almost every day and we would talk on the phone for hours. Now after 14 years together there is rarely a day that goes by when he doesn't say to me, "give me 10 minutes, gov?" which is invariably when he is having a bath in the evening when we chew the cud about stuff. In the winter evenings we sit in the living room by the fire, no TV in that room, and just talk about plans we have for the future or nothing in particular. In these times of social media and seemingly less face to face contact it is soooo important to talk. Like I said Kev, great post!
ReplyDeleteTalking is far more important that people give it credit to. Getting on like you two do makes a relationship strong and that enables a couple to do so much more.
DeleteYou have a lovely family! We should all be so lucky.
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