Being a father of two girls and a baby boy makes you realise how different they are.
Our children are brought up in house where we don't enforce gender stereotypes. Having two girls first really brought this home to me, I want my girls to believe they can do what ever they want regardless of what sex they are.
In their day to day life they see traditional roles reversed in our household, my wife is the bread winner whereas I'm the homemaker.
It made me chuckle the other day when an uncle of my wife's was talking about our extension and said to my eldest "I bet mummy is looking forward to her new kitchen" She just looked at him deadpan and said "And Daddy". I'm the one they see spending more time in there, cooking tea most nights so why would the kitchen be for mummy?
But with nature vs nurture the nature sure does come out.
The girls have had a wide selection of both boys and girls toys and have played with them all, but their play is different, the girls seem to have a natural maternal instinct built in, they love to nurse and care for things.
One year they ask for dinosaurs at Christmas and loved playing with them, but these poor dinosaurs go to tea parties, picnics and sleep overs. The boy has a dinosaur and makes it raw as he hits us repeatedly with it!
The girls have always had toy cars, for them it's to take people places to have little talking adventures, that's what I call it where they make a little dialog for each person and they have adventures (getting married, rounding up pretend sheep, etc). The boy pushes his noisy police car round the loop of our house over and over, smashing into the skirting board and my feet, laughing if he gets me.
Then there's the smashing, he loves the smashing! Basically anything that can make a noise gets a smash or a bash, and if I react then it gets hit some more. I can really see where the word boisterous comes from!
I know he's only just over a year old but the differences have already amazed me. He is still loving and caring, he likes giving out big slobbery kisses and hugs, but he's never still for long and often just jumps on the girls so they'll wrestle with him!
What is your experience between girls and boys growing up?
Do you think they're just built differently or is it the way we bring them up (knowingly or unknowingly)?
We have 2 boys and a girl and like you encouraged them to do everything, but they are different ! The boys love wrestling, the girl definitely not ! Great progress on the extension !
ReplyDeleteI am lucky enough to have 1 of each. I experienced exactly what you have described. I would say my son is black and white where as my daughter has more blurred lines shall we say. My son is very loving, probably more so than my daughter but she's older so that plays a part too.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, those children are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteWe had three boys and one girl. They were different as night and day. We taught them all to take care of themselves and others. My sons are all excellent cooks and the younger two are good fathers (my eldest and his wife have no children--he is a thoughtful uncle to 8). God gave them all different talents and abilities and we tried to never stereotype. My daughter passed at 19, however she was capable of doing a great and loved many things that the rest of my family considered unladylike.
Your children will be themselves and you will love who they become.
Take care of yourselves and God bless.
I have no doubt we are "built" differently.
ReplyDeleteI do believe we should be able to pursue interests beyond our preconditioned roles, but we also can't deny that men are more equipped to be the "protector" and women do love making their "nests" nice.
I think it's a continuum, like saying boys are taller than girls, there's always an overlap.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for the gentle boys these days, tomboys are encouraged to be who they are (as we all should be) but gentle boys are often mocked.
I don't think we ever made an effort to enforce gender stereotypes. We did provide strong traditional role models for our kids. They turned out pretty well.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, a biology teacher, while watching his son and other boys play called it: "the raging Y chromosome". So sad, in U.S.A. we try so hard to temper it. It is a continuum but if we provide good role models to be kind and loving people- however God made us it will all be all right.
ReplyDeleteYes i think there is a built in differences, had three girls and one boy, I think its tonight it comes to light in the secret life of 5 year olds.
ReplyDeleteI too had two girls first, and then a boy. They all have quite differing personalities. I am trying to think back now and remember what they played with. The girls weren't great ones for dolls, but they did like anything to do with animals, and tended to mother them. The best present we ever gave our son was a play kitchen, with all the pots, pans, biscuit shapers, tins and stuff "from the shop". He played with that for hours and is a good cook now (earned his living that way in NZ). Even as a teenager he wasn't a teenogre and he and his friends were always polite and spoke to us, not the teenage years of angst and grunting. Whereas, his middle sister was, shall we say, a challenge, and the eldest the most emotional of them. I will say, the only time I have seen my husband most put out was when my son's sisters dressed him up as a girl (I think they called him Geraldine!) He was about 3 at the time . . . my son, not my husband!!
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, when I taught at Pony Club, it was always the girls who were into the stable management side of things and prettifying their ponies, whilst the boys were more into galloping and jumping and did very dismal plaits indeed. We won't even mention boys and tack cleaning in the same breath!!
We had just the one girl so I really can't speak about any comparison. Maybe because she was an only child, I think she learned both the feminine and masculine roles and can tackle anything she wants without defining it as a man's or woman's work. Having said all that, I do believe men and women are definitely wired differently. But in a complementary way.
ReplyDeleteWe have two girls and a boy, and a stay at home Dad as well. The kids are more blended in terms of their interests, though the do still tend to gravitate toward gender-related interests. For instance, my 14 year old son still loves all things WWII related, and most especially tanks. My daughters have the dolls, but also love playing dinosaurs with their brother (especially the 6 year old). My son and I are traveling to England and Europe this summer with his school band. He's one of the only boys that plays clarinet at his school. I did notice they became more gender-specific after they went to school. But at home, hey still love doing home type activities with me and working around the homestead with my husband and me.
ReplyDeleteI just think we should allow our girls to be girls, and our boys to be boys. The modern trend for trying to make all children 'uni-sex' is bound to cause confusion.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the third blog where I followed Cro's comment. Either he is up very early or I'm up very late. Anyway, three boys and a boy here. All had outside animal chores, access to tractors and other machinery. All were taught to cook and clean. Now as adults I have one messy boy, two neat boys and a daughter who can only boil water if her husband starts it for her. I have no advice or wise words other than...enjoy every single minute of it. Parenthood is the most precious gift.
ReplyDeleteI meant three boys and one GIRL. Yup, I'm definitely up too late.
DeleteDefinitely. Our Aurora has the maternal nature whereas Logan has a wicked temper and is much more physical with his emotions
ReplyDelete